being a mom and a business owner.
In October 2022, I found I was pregnant with my son.
He came. He saw. I struggled. But we have a rhythm. For now.
Like all things in life, stuff changes and every season I’m learning something new and adjusting to what he needs (and what I need… and what my husband needs).
Here’s the thing…
My mom was a creative business owner. Both my parents were business owners so it never occurred to me that I had to work for someone else. I knew that if I worked hard at something like they did that maybe it would work out for me too. Universe-bless them both when I said I wanted to be an actor. Right after 2008. I can only imagine.
Back to my mom. My mom was a graphic designer and she had tricked out two spaces in our basement as her office and studio. She could be at her desk, and would be at her desk a lot, and we would be playing or at school or whatever… but she was around. If we got sick, we could call her to come get us. She could pick us up from school and take us places or generally just be available unlike other parents who were chained to a desk from 9-5. As I thought about what I wanted my life as a parent to look like some day that seemed like a pretty good set up.
She worked late sometimes. I would bring her drinks and kiss her goodnight when she had something big she was working on. I thought that was cool. That she was busy and people needed her.
Now, I’m a mom who owns a creative business that functions primarily on my output. Just like her.
My office isn’t in my house so that is a bit of an additional challenge. Having an office allows me to focus. But I commute. And rush hour in Atlanta can end up being more like rush 2 hours. Not to mention the on location shoots I do regularly. I’m out of the house a lot.
He goes to daycare for part of the week, like my brother and I did as little little kids, and I stay home with him the days we can’t send him. I’m following my mom’s blueprint. What did she do? How can I incorporate that into my life?
But what happens when he is in school 5 days a week and we get into the rhythm of that and summer comes along? Does he come to the office with me? Do I work from home? When do I start letting him stay home alone? Is he coming to shoots during the day? Will my clients be okay with that?
Will my attention be split? Will I still be able to create the work I need and want to? Will I still be able to be the parent and role model I want to be for him?
I have lots of worries when it comes to splitting my attention between him and work. Not to mention my poor husband.
But I want to show my son what my parents showed me; if you work hard you can create something really worthwhile for yourself and the ones you love.
Is creating that worth the time I lose with him? The late nights at events, the early drop offs and late pick ups from daycare? The weekend days away from each other for events and teaching?
I hope so. I hope he sees parents who work hard for the right reasons. Not to buy stuff or a bigger house or fancy cars and clothes.
But who work hard to make our world better.
How does a photographer do that? I help people along in their careers. I capture memories of celebration and events that bring people together and remind us that community is a thing. I volunteer my time to bring photography to people who might not have access to it otherwise. I work to bring light to the work of artists who’s voices and stories are actively being suppressed. If I keep doing good things all I can hope for is that my son sees them.
written by
Casey Gardner Ford for Breathe Images
